Origins and Beastly Armies

Origins and Beastly Armies

          The city is quiet as the water from the puddle splashes onto the taxicab’s tires during its passing by the restaurant.  The couple sits enjoying cups of egg drop soup.  Hers she eats as it was served to her.  He adds some Chinese hot oil to his.  Both of them appear to be lost in thought.  They’ve just been asked a question by their friend David.  “The superheroes, the fights, the code names and adventures where did it all begin?”  They looked at one another and then at him.  The woman spoke.  “Do you want to start this story or do you want me to?”  The man looked up at his wife then at David.  “How long do you have because it’s not a simple tale?”  Their waitress came by and asked.  “Can I get you something else?”  The young woman spoke again.  “Joy I fear we will be here for quite some time.  We’re going to need a lot more egg drop soup you know how my husband gets when your soup is involved.”  Within minutes another round of soup is delivered and a silence fell over the table.  The man added more Chinese hot oil to his soup followed by a swishing of his spoon.  “You see David our stories differ but at a point merge.  So to your point I guess I’ll start.  I’ve always had a strong sense of justice and right and wrong which has been at the core of who I am as a person.  As you know my name I was given at birth is Zac I’m also known as the White Shadow.  I’ve done a lot of things under that particular code name.  I’ve made some mistakes too.  Being a vigilante is not always easy.  As for the name White Shadow that came from my friend Don Ricardo.  One night at work he saw me running to stay in shape and said.  `He runs so fast and he’s so white all you see is a white shadow.’  He’s also one of the ones who helped train me.  Most people don’t know this but Don Ricardo was once a hero in his own right with the ability to employ the Rich Slap a move so powerful mountains trembled.  Enough about that I’m straying from what you asked The White Shadow was meant as a joke but it didn’t stay that way.  Where do I go from here?”  David prompted him.  “The teleportation and powers that cause a sound very unique would I guess be a good place?”  The woman turned from her soup and asked.  “Have you ever heard of a cosmic being?  It’s a serious question I’m just preparing you for what is to come in all this.”  Her husband took a breath and continued the tale.   “It was thought to be simply makeup they wore but there was more meaning behind it.  They were referred to as the hottest band in the land.  The music was so cool.  But there was way more behind it all.  The humans behind and bound to the Psycho Circus were only mortal manifestations of their true significance.  One night I visited the Psycho Circus thinking it merely a fun event.  That’s when things got weird.  As weird as this will sound a young girl with a painted face similar to a geisha or strange demon led me from the elephant show she told me to go get some popcorn.  She led me backstage away from everything and then told me her name was Kismet and she said she was the Avatar of Fate.  In that tent she and this blind fortune teller Madame Raven introduced me to the Four Who Are One.  I was shown many unbelievable things.  Kismet showed me a path to being a hero.  The people referred to as the band Kiss are cosmic beings and the powers came from them.  The White Shadow was not a joke to them they saw a hero in the name.  The Beast King trained me to fight.  The Demon took my passion for justice and breathed fire into that desire.  The Celestial granted the teleportation powers.  The Starbearer provided the sound which is fueled by emotion.  Madame Raven took images from my mind and made the White Shadow costume a reality. When I teleport it does make a sound as if glass is breaking and metal is tearing.  I constantly spend time modifying my weaponry to better fight foes.” 

          David turned to address the woman.  “What about you?  How did it all start?” “My given name as you know is Marion but I sometimes answer to the name Thunder Kitten.  As you know I do have spinal bifida and I do walk with leg braces I do need hearing aids and glasses.  When Zac and I met he revealed that he was the White Shadow in fact a few select people know he’ll tell you more about that soon.  He had two friends in the Vixen Force he wanted to have me meet.  One night we went to a WWE ppv at Buffalo Wild Wings, as we were leaving we had parked behind the building close to the Starplex Theatre when she showed up.  I had heard of heroes in spandex but never seen one up close.  She was something else!  Her costume was very form fitting.  She dropped from a tree and all I saw was a blur of red and yellow.  Then she unmasked and said her name was Jessica Drew aka Spider-Woman.  Zac turned to me and said.  `I see a hero in you Marion and if you are willing Spider-Woman here is going to pool as many resources in the hero community to make this happen.  This is a once in a lifetime chance here for you alone.’”  David at this point held up his hand.  “A what kind of force did you say?  You lost me for a second.”  Zac put the empty soup dish down after drinking all the contents.  “The Vixen Force is a very special project David.  After some time of proving myself as a hero I had the rare chance to meet Nick Fury.  He’s the commander of S.H.I.E.L.D. and he has given me a special privilege.  When something comes up that Marion and I can’t handle on our own we contact the Vixen Force.  Simply put Fury allows me access to form teams of all female heroes.  It can vary from mission to mission who is needed or who needs our help.  Marion has proven quite adept at helping me assemble teams.  We’ve had soldiers; ninjas, friends, mutants, Dhamphirs, magicians and superheroes all help us out.”

          “So Marion you met this Vixen Force member named Spider-Woman and she and Zac saw some sort of hero in you am I right so far?”  “Exactly right.”  “Well then what happened?”  “Spider-Woman hit a remote in her hand and summoned this flying thing she called a sky cycle.  Once again I was reminded I had the chance to become a hero and it was a big choice only I could make.  Had my legs allowed thru my leg braces I would have been trembling with fear and excitement.  I finally found my voice and said yes.  Spider-Woman hopped on the sky cycle and motioned for me to join her.  We ascended thru the air and I’ll tell you for a girl afraid of heights it was very scary.  Suddenly we lifted and shot straight up she leveled out the sky cycle and I fell asleep.  Within hours I was told to wake up.  We were over the ocean and there suspended in the sky was what appeared to be a section of a mountain.  Spider-Woman landed us on a little ridge and turned to me and smiled.  `Welcome to the Rock of Eternity Marion prepare to have every fiber of your being examined and your mind blown you’re about to meet the Wizard.’  She held my hand and led me around the side of the Rock and within moments we faced massive doors.  `Get ready to believe in magic Marion.’  The oak doors were easily 15 ft. tall overlaid with jewels.  `Shazam!’  Suddenly lightening crackled around and the doors swung open.  It looked like a massive cathedral had been stuffed inside a mountain.  We walked past 7 statues each with a sign by them declaring them to be the seven deadly sins.  We continued to walk for what seemed like hours I thought we had come to a dead end at a wall when it shimmered out of existence.  In the room was a throne and seated on it was an old man with scales and a globe above his head.  He had a beard so long ZZ Top and the boys from Duck Dynasty would all be jealous.  Beside him was a young woman in a white blouse and mini skirt with a yellow lightning bolt on her blouse.  She had brunette hair.  The old man spoke. `Greetings Jessica how may I help you this fine day?’  `Kind Wizard may I introduce you to Marion a kind compassionate heart who seeks to live the life of a hero but is physically challenged in that regard.’  The Wizard then seemed to stare into every part of me before speaking again.  `I have searched you Marion and I see great things in you I can grant your desire.  This is my adopted daughter Mary Marvel from henceforth as she does you will draw on a portion of my power.  Mary and Jessica will take you to the blacksmith and there you will start your journey.      

          So we went down to a passageway that led off from the throne room.  After some time Mary grabbed both me and Jessica by the hand and took us flying thru the hallways.  I have to say flying feels so incredibly amazing.  It made no sense I know we were in the Rock of Eternity and all but suddenly she set us down in an open clearing with what appeared to be an ancient open air market and then she asked her to follow her.  I was instructed to touch nothing.  She led us to a blacksmith’s shop.  There were finished and unfinished weapons all over the place.  I admit I was very confused as to what we were doing here and how it would have an impact on me being a hero.  Mary called a servant boy over and told him the words armor and sword.  The servant boy walked to me and began taking my measurements.  Then he walked away and a centaur replaced him in less than a minute.  The centaur looked me up and down and said.  `Mary we do something really special for this one.’  `Thank you Rufus do you require any assistance?’  `For what I have in mind we may need a Green Lantern This sword and armor is going to do really special stuff.’  At this point I looked as confused as I could be.  `Jessica what are they talking about I can’t wear armor or use a sword.  I’m too short and my legs won’t support all that.’  `Just believe Marion something special is going to be done for you.’           

          A month passed and I would spend all my time at the dojo and the blacksmiths shop.  I learned swordsmanship and all manner of fighting styles it was never easy.  In the meantime Spider-Woman had come and gone often checking on me.  Mary would also pop in from time to time.  During that time Zac had made a call to another Vixen Force member named Arisia.  I had heard there were female Green Lantern Corps members but I finally got to meet one.  The called it graduation day.  The Blacksmith Rufus summoned me.  I walked into his shop and Arisia, Spider-Woman, and Mary Marvel all awaited me.  Rufus had tied off a cart to his horse half of his body in it was shining teal armor and a sword in a scabbard.  We took a trip to the Wizard’s throne room.  Mary went to him and spoke privately.  Finally he looked my way and spoke,  `Marion it’s graduation day for you.  I know you don’t understand all that’s going on but the Wisdom of Solomon will soon clear your mind.  Rufus will you please explain the young woman’s gifts.’  ‘Marion this armor and sword are now yours to use in the defense of the weak they will serve you well.’  Mary and Arisia walked towards me and took my hands.  Mary summoned a lightning bolt and threw it at the contents of the cart.  Arisia used her Green Lantern ring linking me, Mary and the armor.  Then they said in unison `You are now bonded.’  Spider-Woman took the sword and unsheathed it her hands started glowing and Mary touched the blade and yelled `Shazam!’  The sword burned now with teal flame.  Rufus sauntered over in horse like fashion.  `Marion this armor is fueled by will, magic and venom blasts and it is linked to you and only you no one else may wield this.  All you have to do is concentrate it will come to you.  It will temporarily extinguish your disabilities you will be a fierce warrior when you use both sword and armor.  You have mentioned a nickname Zac had given you; Thunder Kitten a few times this is your new name.  Now summon it all to yourself.’  I stood concentrating and all the pieces of the armor flew to me piece by piece and the sword flew to my hand.  It was a perfectly balanced Japanese Katanna. The Wizard at this point raised his hand pointing at the breastplate as power left him a symbol formed of a spider imposed over a yellow lightning bolt in a green circle.  Thankfully my head was now covered by a helmet for I was in tears at what had been done for me.   `Thank you all of you I hope I live up to being the hero you claim to see in me.’ 

          Jessica took me by the hand and took me back to my apartment.  `Do you want me around as you tell your boyfriend Zac?’  `No I want to do so on my time.’  `Okay prove it works one more time.’  So I stood making the sword appear before me reached out my hand grabbing it as the armor slid in place.  `Jessica I’m calling the sword Widow Maker.’  `Now remember Marion the sword and armor only temporarily relieves your disabilities don’t let yourself become addicted to its power promise me you’ll surround yourself with good people you can trust to keep you grounded.’  `I promise I will.’

          A week and a half passed before I got to actually be a hero.  I went to Stripes near my apartment simply for a newspaper and some ice cream when the store was held up.  I was looking thru the dairy section when the gunman started yelling at the young brunette woman at the register.  I looked down the aisle saw what was going on grabbed a can of Spaghettio’s and threw it.  When he turned around after being hit in the small of the back I was completely armored up with sword drawn.  `What the bleep are you?’  `I’m the Thunder Kitten hear me roar.  You’re done shopping here.  Put the gun down!’  As stupid as criminals can be he emptied the gun but bullets have no effect on magical armor I kept walking and knocked him out with the handle of Widow Maker.  Later that night Zac came over to visit as I had offered to cook for him.  Over dinner I explained all that had happened to me.  So now as a married couple we fight bad guys together.” 

          David stirred some rice into his garlic chicken and chased a mushroom around his plate.  “What’s the connection with Hooters and something about an owl jet?”  Zac speared a piece of baby corn and laughed.  “Well David as you know I’ve been a regular at Hooters for quite some time.  It all started with a young lady named Angela.  She once told me that she, Rosemary and Amanda had discovered an underground are below the owl that sits outside.  One night with permission from their manager Jackie we went exploring.  I revealed to them and the cook Rex that I was the White Shadow.  The 5 of us converted that that underground area to a secondary base of operations as well as a small armory.  I placed a call to Nick Fury and I was sent a team of S.H.I.E.L.D. techs and each night as the city slept we converted little by little the owl statue into a jet.  The head rotates up and the wings spread.  It even functions in space.  On one of my first missions Rosemary, Arisia and a Sorceress Teela modified the jet to increase the seating capacity.  It now houses machine guns and missiles.”  “Okay but Zac what happens when it’s gone don’t people passing by see it as missing?”  “David have you ever seen the old Green Hornet show where one car disappears and one is under it ready to be flipped up?  It works the same with the owl jet along with holographic image inducers.”

          As they continued eating both Marion and Zac’s cell phones began playing “I need a hero” by Bonnie Tyler.  They both began tapping buttons rapidly.  David leaned towards the table and said.  “What’s going on?”  Zac looked up.  “Corpus Christi is under attack we can’t stay here.  Marion is there anyone nearby that can help?”  “S.H.I.E.L.D. can spare Nova and She-Hulk.  I’m looking for local help.”  “David go get somewhere safe.”  The couple stood and left money to pay for their meal and started to leave.  Zac continued tapping the phone.  “Jet’s on its way Marion.”  David tapped them both on the shoulders and said.  “I’m going with you.”  As they got outside both of them exclaimed,  “David you’ll get hurt we can’t let you go with us.”  “No I won’t I’ve got a secret I’ve been trying to tell you this whole meal, I’m the White Lion.”  “The what?”  “Just get your jet here and trust me I can help.”

          The jet landed in the parking lot and the Chinese food loving trio boarded and went airborne.  “Incoming message.”  Thunder Kitten swiveled to the communications console.  “Zac the Hero Net is saying Sir Clyde, The Other Guy and Fire Mistress are in the area.”  “Let’s pick up Tanya and tell her we need Fire Mistress and the Claw of Pyros.”  All was quiet in the jet for a few minutes until David spoke up.  He was holding a lion’s tooth around his neck and said.  “By the Fangs of Castle Greyskull grant me the White Lion’s bite.”  There was a flash of amber light in the jet where David had once sat was now a man beast shaped like an albino lion holding a spiked mace.  Zac and Marion spun in their seats in shock.  David’s voice now bore a distinct growl.  “I told you I could help.  I visited Eternia the Sorceress granted my wish to help and defend others my gauntlets emit magic blasts and my mace is bonded and conducts concussive force.”  “Zac pay attention to the jet controls listen and fly carefully.”  “Sorry it’s not every day your friend turns into a lion man behind you.”  With a few movements of the controls the jet was once more on a level flight.  Marion began pushing buttons on the communications console.  “Justice League Watchtower, this Thunder Kitten and the White Shadow we have reports of a crisis something about Corpus Christi being under attack requesting help and any details you can provide.”  “Thunder Kitten this is Wonder Wharton speaking you have agents in the field at various locations.  It appears you have a rock troll problem indicating Asgardian magic.”  The jet made its way towards Red Lobster to intercept a certain redhead named Tanya unknown to its passengers that a fight was already taking place in the opposite end of the Moore Plaza parking lot. 

Round 1

Trolls

          It had all started off to be a nice friendly lunch between Clyde and Jason little did they know they would soon have to hero up and fight.  They had just finished a meal at On the Border when all the commotion started.  Jason was about to mount his motorcycle.  “Hey Clyde what is going on over at Home Depot your eyes are better than mine.”  Clyde was a man displaced in time.  He was a knight of olden times but due to many adventures in the future he just decided to stay and help his friends fight evil in all its forms.  Jason went by the name of the Other Guy and fought crime with martial arts skills.  “I can’t quite tell what’s going on Jason but it looks like a lot of people are leaving all at once and things are airborne.”  “Armor up my man it’s time to do something heroic.”  Clyde ran to his vehicle Rumble grabbed his sword Stardust and thumbed a device on his belt.  He once wore clunky armor like an ancient knight now he was equipped with S.H.I.E.L.D. technology that gave him a poly carbonate hard light construct armor that could stop anything up to a tank shell being fired at him.  His sword Stardust he affixed to a magnetic clamp on the back of his armor and he also wore a bandolier of daggers.  He ran back to the Other Guy and his motorcycle and they shot across the parking lot. 

          They got across the parking lot and stopped people who were running.  “What’s going on why are you running?”  “The rocks they came to life they killed 6 people already.”  “Get yourselves out of here!”  “Looks like we found some trouble Jason.”  “Got any ideas Sir Clyde?”  “You investigate from up high I’ll go down low.  Front entrance is going to be hectic let’s take the lumber yard.”  On their approach the Other Guy hid the bike and ran to the nearest emergency ladder to the roof his long arms and legs allowed him to take the rungs two at a time.  Once he got to the top he found a door.  Looking around he found a crowbar and as quietly as possible broke the lock.  He silently took off across the upper level scaffolding.  He continued muttering to himself, “Rocks came to life what does that mean?”  Sir Clyde was moving silently below thru the lumber yard.  His sword raised he looked up and spied the Other Guy and proceeded once assured he was not alone in trying to find the unknown reason that caused people to flee the store. 

          “Thunder Kitten what did La ’Dona mean by saying there are agents already in the field?”  “I don’t know Zac do you want me to contact her again?”  “No not yet let’s get Fire Mistress first but turn on the emergency broadcast bands and see if we can find out what is going on.”  After flipping a few switches she said, “I think I have something here it seems to be a live newscast.  The audio playback started, “Reporting live from Moore Plaza near Barnes and Noble this is Katia Uriate for channel 3 news where people have been seen fleeing Home Depot.  I have tried to interview multiple people and keep being told `The Rocks came alive and attacked us’.  This reporter has no leads as to what this means.  For Channel 3 news this is Katia Uriate signing off.”  The Owl Jet landed hovered over the roof of Red Lobster and The White Shadow teleported inside and went straight to the bar where Tanya worked.  Tanya heard the distinctive sound like glass breaking and metal tearing she finished the drink she was making and turned to the redhead behind the bar with her.  “Listen Annie I’ve got to go superhero stuff is involved.  Thanks for coming to cover for me on short notice.”  The White Shadow sat on the bar patiently waiting swinging his legs back and forth.  Tanya took his hand and teleported into the jet.  She unrolled her apron and slid the Claw of Pyros over her right hand after changing into a spare costume in the jet’s bathroom.  The costume was a black and white mask forming her brunette hair to a ponytail hiding the top of her head to her nose, her spandex top and pants were black and covered with drawings of flames of orange and red.  Tanya walked towards the front of the jet and leapt back grabbing a seat back.  “Who or what is that?”  She yelled.  “You may call me the White Lion.”,came the throaty growling reply.  “Please don’t be alarmed Tanya you know me as David I was there when Zac brought you Christmas presents.”  “Wow!”

          At Toys R Us a young lady named Brandy was shopping for a friend’s son and daughter.  Two aisles over she heard mad laughter glancing up she saw monsters descending on the floor from a purplish hazy cloud.  She heard crashing and banging and began sneaking to the end of the aisle.  Sliding her cell phone from her pocket she sent a text to a contact on speed dial.  The message read “E home in on my signal need help bring Crack Up it’s in my truck.”  Suddenly 2 women’s bodies flew to the next aisle several feet away.  That’s when Brandy got a good glimpse of what was going on.  Leaning her head out ever so slowly she saw stomping hooves on humanoid like bodies wearing loin clothes.  The creatures had heads of bulls and goats in their arms were a variety of bladed weapons and they walked on 2 legs.  There were about 10 of them literally throwing people around.  Brandy muttered.  “E better get here soon with Crack Up.”  Brandy was not without skills of her own.  She like Clyde was also a time displaced hero an axe mistress was the proper term.  Slaying monsters was something she enjoyed doing with her battle axe she called Crack Up because some things were too funny they just cracked her up.  Her friend Agent E was an expert with guns and various fighting toys and she was on her way but these Beastmen were wreaking havoc and hurting people here and now.  “Okay no axe trapped in toy store think Brandy think what can be used as a weapon.”     As Brandy considered her options her friend Esme was assembling a team to help her.  She had contacted the wizard Roderick and Bren-Chill.  Brenda better known as Bren-Chill was a mutant who could manipulate forms of moisture.  She was so skilled she could convert her entire body to liquid form.  Roderick was another of their time displaced friends he was an actual wizard of much power.  With heroes on the way Brandy had formed a plan.  As quietly as she could she crawled to the end of the aisle she was on taking a lawn dart and croquet set with her.  While they weren’t her trusty axe she thought she could make do till help arrived.  She assembled the croquet mallets and grabbed as many lawn darts as she could.  She heard a Beastman begin stomping towards her.  “Son of a Suntrust customer!”  She muttered under her breath.  She put 2 lawn darts on the ground and stood waiting as the creature charged.  Using the croquet mallet as a golf club she teed off at the lawn darts sending them flying one dart went straight for the beasts nose the second connecting in the left shoulder.  She drew the other mallet from her back swinging both in succession into either ear crushing his skull.  She ran past the aisle where the Beastmen had congregated and blew a raspberry getting their focus on her and not the trapped shoppers.  Another Beastman left the pack to get her she hid just at the very end of the aisle.  As she saw his hooves appear she swung a mallet into his kneecap.  He buckled and his head came forward.  A thud echoed off the walls as she smashed the other mallet off his nose in an underhanded swing.  As the body began to fall she snapped out with a crescent kick on the back of its neck slamming it to the floor.  “Two down eight to go I need my axe.”  She heard the door to the store sound the opening chime followed by the blast of a shotgun and another round being chambered.  A man suddenly stood behind her wearing glasses, jeans, a blue shirt and suspenders.  He held out his hands chanting and a fireball began forming.  A water pipe above Brandy’s head burst open and a block of ice came from it followed by Bren-Chill.  “Hey Brandy this might be more useful.”  The ice melted to reveal a double bladed jewel encrusted battle axe.  “Time for Brandy to exit stage left and I can become Brandolyn the Slayer.  Let’s go Roderick and Bren-Chill.”  Gunfire erupted again.  “Hey Agent E save some for us.”  Bren-Chill erupted into motion encasing the Beast men’s feet in ice as Agent E, Brandolyn and Roderick alternatingly attacked.  Fireballs, lightening bolts, gunfire and an ever present axe made short work of the remaining Beastmen.  “Thanks for the rescue gang.”, Brandy said as she stood swinging the axe in a circular motion.  “The White Shadow and Thunder Kitten informed us that weird things have been taking place across the city.  When you asked for help Roderick had a vision of you in grave danger I assembled the heroes I could find on short notice.”, said Agent E.  “Ladies I fear we are required elsewhere more trouble is afoot.” said Roderick.   

            When Roderick had said trouble was afoot he had no idea it was a big stinky foot with lots of gross toe jam.  The Other Guy and Sir Clyde continued to make their way thru Home Depot when both of them stopped abruptly.  There in the painting section were 10 creatures walking on 2 legs.  The fact that they were walking around moving made no sense as their bodies were composed entirely of rocks.  They were randomly knocking things down and wreaking havoc.  Up above in the scaffolding The Other Guy sat perched shaking his head muttering “What the blue blazes are those and how do we fight that?”  Sir Clyde spoke thru his communicator “Bunch of damn rock trolls!  I hate trolls!  Jason we need more help they won’t go down easy.  Stardust’s ice effect will slow them down but we’re going to have break them somehow.”  “Be right back Clyde meet me on aisle 20 they sell jackhammers here.  I’m going to pick up something on the way.”  The Other Guy took off thru the upper roof supports swinging across from beam to beam using his renowned martial arts skills.  He snuck down on the tool belt and hammer aisles getting himself more equipped for a battle.  Meanwhile Sir Clyde backtracked to avoid an unnecessary fight and took to the roof as well heading to aisle 20.  He wasn’t sure what Jason had in mind but he was willing to back his play.  He had seen plenty of times the things Jason could do when he put his mind to it.  When he was fighting bad guys The Other Guy and Sir Clyde were a duo to be reckoned with.  Sir Clyde made it to aisle 20 where The Other Guy was doing the strangest construction project ever.  He had somehow jury rigged 2 chain saw engines together with a jackhammer on the base of 2 shop-vacs atop the length of the jackhammer’s arms he was bolting down a foot of metal railing.  “Clyde here’s some gloves splice those battery packs to the chain saw engines so it won’t need electricity or gas.”  “Dude what are we doing?”  “You and the trolls will see when I’m done just trust me.  Hand me that spring pack over there.  You contacted the White Shadow right because this is just a delaying tactic?  I know this fight is a bit out of our league.”  They’ve been contacted yes.”  Jason surveyed the aisle again and ran up and down grabbing nail guns and unpacking air compressors and plugging them in.  “Clyde remove the safeties on those nail guns I’ve got to finish my toy the battlefield is almost shaped in our favor.”  The Other Guy ran with mini sledgehammers in either hand.  “Hey Clyde incoming!”, he yelled as he came running back.  Sir Clyde turned drawing two nail guns loaded with 16 penny nails.  He opened fire on the rock troll chasing The Other Guy.  With no safety switch on the nail guns and hooked to an air compressor the nails flew with rapid fire with the power of gunshots.  Ping ping ping The Other Guy spun on his heels delivering a jarring thud to the troll’s kneecaps.  “Sir Clyde take his head with your sword and take the joints.”  The armored knight did exactly that as the troll toppled his sword Stardust bit into the neck, then shoulders, elbows, knees and hips.  See the problem with rock trolls is if you don’t break the joints and take the head they have a nasty habit of getting back up.  “Clyde 2 aisles over is a pile of 2x4’s I need all of them.  My cannon is almost ready.”  Beep Beep.  “Sir Clyde this is LA ‘Dona help has been routed your way Nova and She-Hulk are in route.”  “Make it snappy Wonder Wharton we’re outnumbered and we’re fighting like the A-Team here.”  Jason came running around the corner with a shopping cart full of 2x4’s.  “What huh?  What are the 2x4’s for?”  “Trust me Clyde this is going to work we’re going to take down as many trolls as we can before help gets here.  I just need to fire a test shot.”  Rumble rumble went the contraption.  Jason dropped a 2x4 on the pieces of metal the shaft of wood slid down hitting the springs.  FOOM!  The sound and reaction were like an incredibly fast missile launcher.  Clyde didn’t claim to understand the mechanics of it all but somehow Jason had brought Dale Delaney’s elusive 2x4 gun to life and the results as Darth Vader would say were “Impressive most Impressive!”  The 2x4 landed in the window of a mini fridge by a register with a resounding crash.  Glass and plastic from the door became shrapnel in seconds.  Clyde grinned patting The Other Guy on the back and said “That was outstanding!”  “Outstanding in the field and you know it.”  Within minutes the Rock Trolls shambled to the scene of the crash to investigate.  Sir Clyde had hidden with Stardust behind a register in wait.  Two trolls looked up and saw The Other Guy and began making their way towards him.  The Other Guy kept his hands steady holding 2x4’s in either one.  He mumbled to himself “Just a little closer.”  Time slowed as he stood waiting.  Foom!  The 2x4 flew blasting the troll hard in the shoulder spinning it so fast he crashed into the other troll next to it.  Both fell unsureof what happened.  The Other Guy tweaked the contraption to fire a little lower and fired again.  Foom!  This time the projectile caught both trolls heads blowing them completely off.  Sir Clyde ran by and proceeded to attack the joints.  Sir Clyde then parried the blows of another troll on the back swing as he rose switching his grip on the sword and driving the point into the trolls knee.  The Other Guy was adjusting his aim when he felt a gust of wind.  She-Hulk ran past him and said “Cavalry’s here.”  Nova Centurion Dori flew like a human rocket bowling over trolls while yelling “Dori Bomb!”  Sir Clyde and his foe continued their lethal dance.  Nova stood toe to toe with a troll and said “Gravimetric pulse disperse on wavelength x9y5.”  Blue blasts flew from her palms converging on the neck and joints turning bright red and the troll literally exploded.  She-Hulk had another tactic in mind.  Before Jennifer Walters had been called to help she had been watching a bit of old wrestling dvds and she had some moves to try.  She saw a troll who had been battered by a 2x4 trying to rise and delivered a perfect shining wizard kick to his head completely removing it.  Then she unloaded with a Randy Orton style stomp to each joint destroying them with her gamma irradiated strength.  The Other Guy saw a troll by the cash register and fired once more.  “No cash for you kunklado! She-Hulk give him a Stunner and a Pedigree!”  On and on the quartet fought till all the trolls were destroyed.  As the four stood resting La ’Dona contacted them.  “Wonder Wharton here, look I know ya’ll just fought but we have a crisis a big one.  White Shadow, Thunder Kitten, White Lion, Fire Mistress, Bren-Chill, Brandolyn, and Roderick are all on their way to it.  It seems the Chaos warriors, and Rock trolls were not acting alone at least 100 of them are marching down Gollihar with the Executioner, and Juggernaut.  Not sure how they got there but all of Corpus Christi’s heroes are needed a.s.a.p.”

Round 2 Fight

Corpus Christi vs. the Chaos Army

          Seemed to be a peaceful spring day at Greenwood Park kids were playing on the playground and in the pool.  That’s when the tremors started and it originated 3 and ½ half miles down on Karen Dr. where a Chaos march had begun.  At the head of this army was a behemoth in crimson armor bands on his arms, fist, legs, shoulders, chest, and head.  He was 10 feet tall and solid muscle.  Cain Marko made Brock Lesnar look as wimpy as he is boring.  Cain Marko was the Unstoppable Juggernaut.  On either side of Juggernaut were almost polar opposites.  The Executioner was his name.  He was an Asgardian warrior dressed much like a Roman centurion.  He had a moustache and goatee and 2 thin mohawks on his head.  As a warrior he was one of the best in all the nine realms and very skilled with an axe called the Blood Axe that drank his opponent’s life force.  On the Juggernaut’s left was the Lady Ekaterina a woman who had sold her soul to the Blood god Khorne.  She called herself a lady but in gentlemen’s terms she was the woman every son’s mother had warned them about.  She was covered in leather and armor and resembled a strange mix of a warrior and a dominatrix.  If you’ve ever seen the b movie Battle Queen 2020 with Julie Strain you get the general idea.  Ekaterina is a cold calculating woman who is becoming less human by the day due to her pact with the demon.  Her teeth now include fangs and her nails can kill small animals.  She wields a broadsword with deadly accuracy along with terrible witchcraft.  She and the Executioner ride horse back in Juggernaut’s wake.  Behind this terrible trio marched 100 Chaos Warriors akin to the type Brandy had encountered.  Truly this would be a battle.  The entire army had teleported via Ekaterina’s witchcraft and amassed in the field near Preston Middle School.  When they began marching the power of their very passage across the ground was causing all the surrounding ares to shake.  The Chaos Warriors were running amok destroying cars, houses and killing people indiscriminately.  The city had never encountered anything so brutal.  The army was on a diagonal path towards Greenwood Dr.

          The Owl Jet was flying overhead of the massive army.  “I’ve got a missile lock Zac if you want to slow their march.”  Marion offered.  “It’s a good plan but too many innocents we need a safe battlefield.”  Fire Mistress and White Lion were consulting maps of the area.  Tanya spoke, “Missiles wouldn’t be good but Nova could eliminate some with gravimetric blasts causing a stampede among the Beast Men.”  David growled out, “If they are heading to the refineries why don’t we give them a path but send them where we want them to go and bring the fight to a place of our choosing.”  “Where would that be David?  Never mind that question the answer is right here.”  He pushed a button bringing up a holographic map.  “There this is West Point Rd. here’s Greenwood I used to take this road on my way home from work.  Right there is a park but next to it is a deep drainage area.  It’s like a submerged area under an overpass and it’s pretty massive.  Marion have Wonder Wharton send the coordinates and plan to everyone.  See if the Beast Men can be forced into the drainage area or even one side of it there will be tactical advantages.”  After the message had been relayed a response came back.  “Hey gang it’s The Other Guy and I’ve got Sir Clyde with me and we have an idea.  Let’s harass the weaker links of this army from behind pick small skirmishes from the backside.”  “Awesome idea. “, replied the White Shadow.  “She-Hulk you’re the best tactician how do you want to break this down.”  “Nova and I need to be up front to handle Juggernaut.  White Shadow, Thunder Kitten, White Lion and Brandolyn are team 1.  Fire Mistress, The Other Guy, Sir Clyde and Roderick are team 2.  That leaves Agent E and Bren-Chill along with us at the goal.  We meet at King’s Seafood in ten minutes to split up.” 

 

Round 3

Let the bodies hit the floor

          The Owl Jet leaving Jason’s cycle and Brandy’s truck at King’s Seafood.  “The Owl jet is locked on all heroes’ signatures Zac.”  “Good I think for this plan to work heroes are going to have to be withdrawn and deployed very quickly.”  All heroes who couldn’t fly were equipped with S.H.I.E.L.D. flight suits to deploy from the jet.   “Jet’s on remote team one ready to deploy.  Team two standby, team 3 be ready to take the jet to the target.”  A few years back the jet had been equipped with body slide technology the likes of which Cable and X-Force employed enabling any hero who had been aboard to be teleported back on ship by locking on to their unique dna. 

          Team one landed and White Lion took off unleashing concussive blasts into the armies’ rear flanks.  Thunder Kitten and Brandolyn followed in his wake protecting him.  The White Shadow was teleporting in and out breaking kneecaps with his truncheons.  Part of the army began to turn Beast Men roaring in defiance to put up a defense when team 2 deployed for attack.  The Other Guy and Sir Clyde waded in cutting a swathe thru the ranks.  The Other Guy used his martial arts skills to disarm and beat people with their own weapons.  He and Sir Clyde fought back to back pushing their advantage.  Fire Mistress led the charge with flames.  The acrid stench of burnt flesh and fur was filling the landscape.  Roderick was hovering overhead unleashing multiple bolts of lightning from his fingertips.  The ranks of the Beast Men were thinning and the horde was being pushed toward the drainage area.  Past Greenwood Park the Beast Men were herded by the heroes.

          Agent E was not a woman to be trifled with she made Fiona from Burn Notice look like a pansy when it comes to being armed and dangerous.  On her side of the drainage area the army was being herded to she had set up an m249 heavy machine gun with 2 boxes of ammo.  On the ground next to her she had a Rubbermaid trash can full of LAW single fire anti-tank weapons.  At her hips were 2 holsters with twin 9mm pistols.  She-Hulk was near her doing simple Hindu squats.  Bren-Chill was sitting on a barstool she had made of ice.  Nova was airborne keeping watch over the oncoming fight.  Suddenly she dropped to the ground and said, “Incoming hordes get ready ladies.”

          By this time Teams one and two had thinned the army down to 50 Beast Men.  Roderick had gone ahead of his team and went straight to wage a battle of magic with Ekaterina.  The White Shadow spoke into his communicator, “Team one and two prepare for body slide give Agent E a clear line of fire to mow them down.  Agent E on my mark open fire on all targets target the ground in front of Juggernaut and make him struggle.  Nova and She-Hulk make him stop!  Computer body slide all but designate Roderick now.”  Team one and two teleported appearing on the other side of the drainage area.  Agent E from the hip began firing the LAW rockets creating a crater Juggernaut went headlong into.  Esme went into a forward roll carrying her across the grass to the waiting heavy machine gun.  She laid down a line of fire quickly reducing the ranks of the Beast Man army.  Ekaterina shrieked with rage as she saw her army dwindle more.  Time slowed down and now it all came down to small fights as the opposing forces were so small now.  Brandolyn rushed forward swinging her battle axe like an avenging angel.  “The Executioner is mine!”  They met on a bridge over the drainage area.  Klang!  The battle axes met in a shower of sparks as steel grated against steel.  Brandolyn was always looking for a worthy opponent for her and Crack Up.  The Executioner tried to push forward and break the pressure between the two weapons.  Brandolyn adjusted the haft of the axe tilted her leg slightly and stomped on his boot.  He grunted and she hit him with her shin right in the thigh.  Enraged the Executioner pulled his axe swinging overhead a straight chop downward but the axe mistress was no longer there.  Flipping the axe Brandolyn swung letting the flat portion of the blade to knock the wind out of the villain.  As his head went forward she jumped up delivering an axe kick to the back of his neck slamming his head to the cement below.  Reversing the angle of the axe she brought the handle down on his head with a satisfying thud.  “You aren’t worthy.”     

          Bren-Chill made the ground near the drainage area wet causing Beast Men to slide off the edge.  As the fell Agent E was just picking her shots with her pistol taking them down like fish in a barrel.

          The White Shadow was known for at times having a bad temper.  The Beast man he was fighting kept advancing on him.  Using both truncheons he gestured for the beast to bring the fight.  Lumbering forward it tried to swing a fist.  Three times Zac let the blow land on his shoulder.  As the fourth blow came towards him the White Shadow dropped low thumbing the blade activator on the left truncheon and jabbed straight for the monster’s stomach.  The White Shadow teleported six times in succession each time landing a hit whereby he was systematically taking shots at vital organs, joints and various body parts.  The Beast Man lurched forwards receiving a dropkick to the temple.  Suddenly from the other side a knee lift was delivered to the other temple.  Wham! Truncheons right to the back of the knees.   The White Shadow appeared and began raining forearms and cross face blows to the beast’s head.  He thumbed the Taser activator and delivered a shocking charge to the spine.  “That’s what it means to go all White Shadow on someone.” 

          Across the way Thunder Kitten had engaged 2 Beast Men.  They were attempting to disarm her with a spiked club and sword.  Both of them  swung and she dropped low catching the on one’s leg aflame with Widow Maker.  He kept advancing with his leg on fire.  Behind her helmet Marion was sweating profusely.  The Beast Man finally noticed and felt the flames and hobbled falling into his comrade.  As the sword wielding Beast Man fell the one on fire impaled himself on the sword.  Before the other one could rise from the confusion Thunder Kitten allowed his head to part with his neck.  “I don’t think so you don’t get to attack my city.  Now stick that in your juice box!”

          Roderick was waging an intense battle with Ekaterina.  Fire balls bolts of lightning and blasts of power filled the air.  Neither could gain an edge over the other.  “A distraction just one is all I need.” thought Roderick.  Sparing the slightest amount of concentration he mentally called out for help.  Fire Mistress heard the call for help and surveyed the scene.  She thought for the span of a minute knowing the Claw of Pyros created fire and the mutant ability she possessed allowed her to manipulate the flame how she wished.  The flaming ball at the end of the Claw was getting bigger as she concentrated.  It was now white hot.  She cause it to take on a bell edge and the flame resolved into a shape of a curved wave.  Tanya grinned at her creation and said “Hadoken” and launched it with the speed of a bullet fired from a 44 magnum.  The fireball found it’s mark.  Ekaterina had a force field of magic that came crashing down she was set ablaze.   Roderick let loose his most powerful spell on her.  “Chaos witch be bound with stones and pitch be gone from this mortal plane.”

          Three Beast Men were converging on the White Lion trying to force him into the drainage chasm.  As they advanced he did the last thing they expected and attacked the one in the middle.  WWE superstar Edge would have been proud it was a perfect spear.  He proceeded to pummel the beast with claw and mace.  The Beast Man on the right leveled his horned head to charge but he never made it.  The Other Guy had taken off at a full run grabbed the horns and performed a perfect swinging neck breaker.  Jason was the first to rise from the ground and repeatedly kicked the monsters head.  Seeing a discarded war hammer on the ground The Other Guy swung it like a golf club and yelled at the top of his lungs. “Fore!”  The third Beast Man was making his way to hurt David when he was intercepted by Sir Clyde who delivered a sword swipe from Stardust severing the monster’s right hand.  The beast roared in agony and anger at this new threat.  “Are you just going to stand there and bleed or did you come to fight?”  “ROAR!!!!!”  The monster lowered his head like a bull with the intent to gore the honorable knight.  Sir Clyde sidestepped the charge slicing the hamstring of the beast.  The ice effect of Stardust began creeping up the beast’s body.  It fell forward to the ground.  “Die you mangy filthy lice infested monstrosity.”  Sir Clyde brought the sword down tip first through the back of the prone creature. 

              Juggernaut began to slowly emerge from the crater Agent E had put him in.  He was yelling his usual cry of “Nothing stops the Juggernaut.”  “Really let’s test that theory.”, said She-Hulk.  As the Juggernaut put a hand on the pavement she took his arm throwing him in a Japanese arm drag.  As he started to rise a gamma powered green elbow found his heart, followed by Nova peppering him with gravimetric blasts.  Hey why does it seem cold all of a sudden?”  She-Hulk pulled Juggernaut up in a full nelson.  Nova placed her palms in his face and blinded him with gravimetric light blasts as Bren-Chill encased him in ice up to his neck.  Brenda laughed.  “When you thaw out don’t forget we have a hulk.”

          The war had ended and Roderick banished any remaining Beast Men back to their realm. 

 

Director’s cut info. 

 

          I had wanted to do a story of origin for quite some time.  The story starts in the Taiwan restaurant in Moore Plaza for those who didn’t catch that.  I had done a partial origin for Thunder Kitten in a previous story but I wanted to explore it in depth and expand on it.  I tried to start off in the future and have it collide with a present problem.  The title Wonder Wharton is a nickname Clyde and I gave our dear friend La’ Dona.  My friend David is one of the most amazing people I have ever met.  For all he’s done as a friend for Marion and I he deserves a place in the hall of heroes.  As I thought and brainstormed this story I thought of the 80’s band White Lion that performed in Transformers the animated movie.  It was the perfect name for David.  I wanted a story that brought all the heroes in Corpus I had brought to life for one big adventure.  Think of it if you will as we’re getting the band back together.  My friend Payton let me read this Gotrek and Felix novel giving me the idea for Ekaterina.  I wanted it to be a war against Chaos warriors but the bigger the army got the harder it seemed for me to write.  Then I thought about books and authors I liked when it hit me.  Don’t think so much of the big army but capture moments in time where the reader connects with the story in the battle.  Towards the end as I wrote the story it began to write itself.  My thoughts were flowing faster than I could write them down and I could see it all unfold in my mind.  There’s been a running joke between my friend Dale and I for years about shooting someone in the head with a 2x4(yes the piece of lumber).  People always told us it wasn’t possible.  So I also had a thought of the worst place for someone to attack you is in a hardware store.  There are just too many things you can use for defense and offense.