Orc smashing party

Orc Smashing party

Cast

Payton- Barbarian. Weapon: large poleaxe

Brittany- Elven archer Ranger. Weapon: electrified bow infused with elven magic

Red Sonja- Sell Sword Weapon: master of swords and bows

Seung Mina- Spear Mistress/ martial arts master. Weapon: Naginata double headed long spear

Valkyrie- Asgardian warrior that escorts soldiers to Valhalla.  Weapons: sword and Pegasus

Teela- Sorceress and woman at arms.  Weapon: Snake headed bo staff

Jonathan-Knight. Weapon: War Hammer gifted to him by the fire demon Sutur.

Lynn- Blacksmith.  Weapons: Shield and mace

Nanette- Sorceress Weapons: magic of all kinds

Erica- Viking. Weapons: hand axes

Angela- Bartender at the Pig Pen Tavern.  Wielder of the Weapon of the ages the Witchblade

Charlotte- Fencer/ Soldier Weapon: Razor sharp fencing foil

         It is a time of terror and a time of great wars.  A time when those with a good weapon and a heart full of courage can make a great difference.  In a village that has been ravaged by various wars lives a young woman by the name of Lynn.  The men of the village have all been drafted for one war or another by force or they are outright killed.  Out of necessity to care for her son and herself Lynn has learned a trade she is the village blacksmith.  The muscles Lynn’s body has formed by being a blacksmith have not just been for show.  Lynn has spent many years training with a shield and mace and has become a proficient fighter. 

         The latest war not only involved the men of her village but also orcs.  All manner of greenskins had been destroying lives and much of the countryside.  Lynn could no longer remember a time when the bloodshed struck so close to home.  It had gotten to where a person could no longer greet the morning without the sound of screams through the night.  Lynn spent more time these days building weapons than shoeing horses.  The Sorceress Nannette had invited her to the Pig Pen tavern this evening and she promised something special was to happen. 

         Nanette the sorceress had been spending months gathering heroes trust from all walks of life who had somehow been in villages that had in some way been under attack by the orcs.  Along with the magical summons she had sent she had also visited many places.  She was almost counting on the appearance of the redheaded Hrykanian Red Sonja who would gladly seek out a good fight.  Her invitation had gone out to the kingdoms of Hrykania, Eternia, Japan, Asgard, The Bluff of many Flowers, and The Body of Christi near the Sea of Prawns.  She had heard of many new travelers to her quiet village.  She was only praying the magic winds were with her tonight and she would not fail to find the team of warriors to seek out the orc hordes in their lairs and rid the land of their evil and ilk. 

         He was a tall man and to some he was perceived as being very arrogant.  He certainly didn’t lack in confidence.  It wasn’t that he was really arrogant he simply didn’t put up with much in the way of stupidity.  His weapon of choice was a war hammer bequeathed to him by the fire demon Sutur.  Jonathan was a power house in battle.  Today was a good day to be alive.  He was in a pitched battle currently with orcs.  Right and left he swung and where his hammer Sulphur’s Kiss struck opponents would be set ablaze.  The hammer had been forged to protect its wielder yet channel the fire demon’s rage.  The fight started 10 minutes ago with him against twenty orcs now only 5 remained.  Two orcs decided to rush him.  He let them get close all the while taunting them.   One came from the right and on from the left.  The first orc swung it’s cleaver but Jonathan was quicker.  The lower half of the war hammer and his fist caught the orc flush on the ear.  It stumbled back growling and snorting in anger.  His friend rushed forward and Jonathan swung Sulphur’s Kiss in an almost snapping uppercut move.  The orc’s head became a fireball.  The 4 remaining orcs tried to rush him from all angles.  Jonathan jumped using the orcs heads directly in front of him as springboards.  Click click went their necks as they snapped.  The same orc he had hit in the ear was back coming towards him with a friend.  He spun with hammer extended popping earwig in the chest.  The orc panicked grabbed his buddy and suddenly both were on fire.  “Well that worked well.” remarked the hammerer.  “Now back to my journey to this place called the Pig Pen.” 

         The two were a strange pairing and they rode side by side on horseback.  They were riding down what barely appeared to be a road and had nothing but shrubs in the way of scenery.  They were however rapidly approaching a group of hills.  The woman had been silent for some time and the man appeared to be filled with a slow burning contained anger.  He was a barbarian prone to berserker rages but his companion had a way of helping him focus his rage with her innate elven magic.  She was a Wood elf ranger and a highly skilled archer.  As they drew closer to the hillside she sniffed the air and raised a hand.  Britt didn’t speak she simply unslung her bow and reached into her quiver.  Payton dismounted his horse and unfastened a saddle bag and set to work assembling a poleaxe.  He had been atop a massive war horse that held him aloft and his great weapon.  The poleaxe was almost longer than he was tall.  The head of the poleaxe was created from the finest dwarven workmanship with emeralds embedded in it.  On the bottom he connected a metal spike.  The shaft of the axe had been made by a metal working pair of gnome maiden twins.  It was lightweight and perfectly balanced.  As each piece was put together it made small clicking sounds.  He had a pair of foot long daggers at his belt as backup weapons.  Once the axe was assembled he stood and silently saluted Britt.  They silently tied off the horses to the sturdiest piece of brush they could find and began making their approach to the hills.  Britt had never steered Payton wrong when it came to hunting down orcs.  She began mumbling elvish words and her bow of dark wood was quickly covered in blue energy as she channeled electricity from her Chi. After crossing the first two hills they saw a dozen orcs around a campfire.  Two were standing guard.  Within seconds Britt dropped both guards, arrows cleanly going through their necks.  Payton erupted in a battle cry and charged into the camp his pole axe sending heads flying.  Britt dropped as many orcs as tried to rise up and hurt her friend.  She was a literal medieval artillery strike.  The campsite was in shambles and not one orc left alive.  The blood began to stain the ground.  Britt slung her bow about her body and said.  “I still wish we could make the pyramid of doom and put them in it.”  “Seriously Britt again?”  “One day Payton one day I’m going to help a king and he’ll reward me and help me make the pyramid of doom a reality.  One hundred unique death traps and no exit.”  “Britt get back on your horse and let’s get moving.” 
         It was quiet in the Bluff of Many Flours.  It was a small town of mostly huts and a tight knit community.  She was a Viking warrior and something nagging at the back of her neck and mind kept drawing her to the hut in the middle of town where the children met for school.  She stopped staring and grabbed her crossing bandoleers of crescent darts.  Then she grabbed 2 perfectly balanced hand axes with spikes on the tops.  The axes were sharp enough you could shave with them.  She turned to the young lady nearest her.  “Go get Brunhilde something bad is about to happen near the school I can feel it.  Leave quietly out the back.”  The town crier’s voice interrupted the response the young lady would have made.  “Orcs at the west wall!”  The young lady went running to get Brunhilde.  Within seconds the town was filled with people screaming and weapons clashing followed by orcs grunting and snorting.  Erica the Viking warrior began running toward the school hut.  The air itself suddenly changed as she saw two orcs throw torches onto the school.  From across the way she spied her friend Brunhilde.  This fight was on no one messed with the kids in their care.  Both ladies ran full tilt at the orcs who had the torches previously.  The orcs began drawing swords.  In mid-run Erica threw two crescent darts catching the nearest orc in his left bicep.  He snorted finally getting his sword free and charged.  Erica ducked under the overhead swing coming in close quarters delivering an elbow to his nose.  Slashing down she sliced right into his thigh.  The orc dropped the sword in pain.  He bent low, she kicked him in the face and as he lay on the ground in pain she spoke.  “You know………..Sometimes you’re stupid and make bad decisions.  Children’s lives are sacred!  How dare you torch a school?”  She slammed an axe blade into the orcs jugular vein, withdrew the axe as the blood sprayed and walked away for a fresh opponent.  The second orc tried to steel his nerves after seeing his comrade’s demise.  He turned and ducked Brunhilde’s swing and stepped back.  “This human is crazy.”  He thought silently.  The orc tried to block the next swing with his short sword.  Brunhilde was attacking with a magnificent broadsword.  Klang!  The impact shook the orc’s arms up to his clavicle.  He tried to bring his sword back up again but suddenly his life ended as Brunhilde the Valkyrie warrior cut him from neck to groin.  Brunhilde and Erica charged into action and began hauling children from the school.  Any orcs that got in the duos way quickly became buzzard chow.  Brunhilde had summoned her Pegasus Aragorn to help her take the children to safety.  Once the battle had ended Brunhilde cleaned and sheathed her sword Dragonfang and told Erica.  “There is a home base of all these orcs I was summoned magically by a sorceress Nanette to fight them.  Would you join me in this mad quest?”  “Brunhilde my friend you know I would gladly follow you into the gaping maw of a dragon if you asked.  Let’s go deliver a definitive blow to these green skins.”  “Out of the cooking school and into the Pig Pin then.  Meet me and Aragorn to depart in 15 minutes.” 
         She was nursing her third tankard of ale so far this afternoon.  The brunette across the table was sipping a gosh awful herbal tea and eating a bowl of what the Hrykanian considered to be wacky noodles.  The redhead and brunette had been travelling together for days.  Both women needed a hot bath and warm beds of their own but Red Sonja and Seung Mina were making a stop at the Spineless Possum tavern before continuing on their journey.  The wild boar and roasted vegetables they ordered had warmed their tired bodies.  Both had been together when Nanette had come to Japan to summon aid.  Seung Mina had been at her father’s dojo training with her naginata and Red Sonja had been there to learn new fighting styles.  They banded together to make the journey to go fight orcs.  There was suddenly a commotion outside.  The women looked to the right as they were the only ones in the tavern.  No sooner had they turned when a man’s body came through the roof and dislodged Sonja’s ale.  Mina moved her noodles and tea.  Sonja looked up at where the body had descended from and saw 2 orcs leaning their heads in.  Seung Mina looked up and grinned.  “Orc smashing time Sonja san?”  “They just signed their death warrants.  The body I would have excused but they messed with my ale.”  “First one to kill an orc buys the next meal?”  “You’re on!”  Sonja flicked a small dagger upwards and the orcs squealed and fled.  Sonja and Seung Mina rose and ran to the tavern where they had left their respective weapons.  Sonja kicked the door open smacking an orc in the face.  The orc was holding his nose and Sonja kicked him.  As Seung Mina came through the door an orc charged and yelled.  She met his axe charge with her spear shaft held crossways and countered into a monkey flip propelling him towards Red Sonja.  Sonja skewered the orc in midair and brought him forcefully down on Broken Nose.  “Mina it was a group effort do I still have to buy the next meal?” “Watch your flank Sonja, let me kill a few more and I’ll decide.”  “Fine by me.”  Sonja backhanded another orc then took his head off with her sword.  Her left hand dropped to her belt and she drew her combat dagger.  Orcs were filling the town and men and women were fighting for their lives.  Seung Mina found herself separated from her friend in a circle of orcs.  She jumped and kicked out at the nearest orc then planted the naginata in the ground using the shaft and her body to kick anything stupid enough to draw near.  The orcs tried to circle her once more.  “Time for a higher gear.”  Drawing her double bladed naginata she began snapping it in horizontal and vertical slashes till no more orcs were left standing.  “Don’t mess with Sonja and her beer and don’t mess with me and my spear.”   The battle soon ended and Sonja and Seung Mina mounted up and sped on their way to the Pig Pen tavern. 
         The fiery redhead had been travelling for days.  She was quire frustrated.  Of course she could ride horseback and do so with ease but a teleportation spell would have worked so much faster.  The further she had gone from Eternia towards the Pig Pen the more wonky her spells seemed to go so she was doing things on this journey the long and hard way.  While she had only been travelling for 4 days it felt more like a fortnight.  Her Father was a master of arms and had taught his daughter Teela to handle every bladed and non-bladed weapon imaginable and to always shape her battlefields in her favor.  She wore her hair back and up high in a ponytail, a white and gold battle suit, and fur lined brown boots.  At her waist was a broadsword in a scabbard and across her back was her snake headed staff.  As she rode she came upon a family with a covered wagon.  She approached the husband and father of the family and asked for permission to accompany them on their journey.  One of the sons rode ahead about a mile and came back out of breath with an arrow in the hind quarters of his horse.  Breathlessly he finally spoke.  “Orcs fifteen of them on their way here!”  His father turned to the other 2 sons.  “Get ready to fight boys.  Let nothing get near your mom and baby Shayera.”  The bows began grabbing swords and crossbows.  Teela drew her staff and dismounted.  They turned the wagon sideways to use it as a place to fire the crossbows from.  Teela walked ahead of the caravan and began planting devices she had taken from her father’s workshop.  She created a forward perimeter of black powder bombs.  She picked up the sound of marching and orcs grunting and took off running back to the wagon.  As she ran she jumped, flipping and twisting to make her land facing the oncoming horde.  She took her flint and tinder box and waited by an extremely long fuse.  “Come on you stupid green skins just a little bit closer.  Dad’s toys are going to send you back to the Hades that spawned you.”  One of the sons leaned over to his dad and asked.  “What is the nice redheaded lady doing?”  “I don’t know son she said something about shaping this fight to be more in our favor and steer clear of what she was doing and just trust her.  Your mother took one look at her and said that’s the woman you don’t want to mess with.”  “That’s the woman mom warned me about Dad?”  “Yeah son that’s the type who will fight any man, woman or beast who gets on her bad side.”  All this time the orcs drew closer and Teela waited till she saw the opening her plan required.  She lit the fuse and ran!  BOOOOOOOMMMMM!!! The earth literally shook!  Dirt and orcs went sky high when the black powder bombs went off.  Of the fifteen orcs only five survived and they were mad.  The sons took out three with well-placed crossbow bolts to the neck.  Teela and the Father took care of the last two in short fashion.  “Get in the wagon son your horse has been shot.  Let’s get Teela to the tavern she’s headed to we owe her for this.”    

    The Pig Pen Tavern was crowded this evening.  There were more people at tables than had been in quite some time.  A woman in a purple ankle length robe had seated herself with her back to the bartender who was wiping a clay cup clean.  The woman in the robe had long dirty blonde hair.  She was people watching.  Nanette the sorceress was actively looking for the heroes she had summoned.  Seated next to her was a lithe muscular woman with a shield on her back and a vicious looking mace hanging from her belt.  She wore overalls and a chainmail shirt.  This blonde was Lynn the blacksmith and she was nervously laughing at the bartender’s joke.  The very place was a little out of Lynn’s element and some of the clientele she would rather hit with her mace than have them make eye contact with her.  “Nanette, do you see whoever we are waiting on?”  “Yes Lynn, almost all of them are here.  There’s one missing but I sense she is quite near like as close as the village’s entrance.  She’s tending to an obligation first.  I’m going to go around the room and start assembling people.”

Nanette knew something Lynn didn’t; the bartender was someone special.  Her name was Angela and she was not the usual barkeep at the Pig Pen Tavern.  Angela turned away from looking at the tavern’s main concourse leaving Lynn to continue warily watching people.  Angela rubbed her right wrist and looked down at the peculiar bracelet on it then mumbled and shook her head.  The casual observer would think she was crazy and talking to herself.  Those in tune with the mystical realms and artifacts would know better.  Outside the tavern Teela looked up from tethering her horse sensing something mystical nearby.  It was something powerful and she knew it instantly.  Back inside Angela still seemed to be holding a one sided conversation.  The bracelet on her wrist had what appeared to be a ruby on it glowing and if one looked closely an eye could be seen.  She considered the bracelet both a gift and a curse.  Any magic user would tell her she had the weapon of the ages, known as the Witchblade.  This artifact was a sentient device that brought balance to the forces of light and darkness.  Angela had used it to heal, save lives and end lives.  It was currently imparting wisdom about the problems to come facing the warriors Nanette was assembling and urging Angela to join them.  Angela finally turned back to the still nervously examining form of Lynn and spoke.  “The meeting room is all set up in the back all you and Nanette need do is let me know.  And Lynn, I have a request can you take me with you on this orc slaying quest?”  Lynn stopped looking around and turned looking very surprised.  “Wait!  You’re the bartender here what do you mean take you with us?”  “That’s the problem with most customers they don’t see their servers or bartenders as real people with feelings they can talk to.  I assure you Lynn, if I join all of you in this quest you will no longer view me as a mere bartender, serving wench or bar maid,”  “Well alright, I will let you come along this is really Nanette’s thing I’m just here to smash some orcs for all they’ve done to my family and village.”  “Lynn this time in history needs a balance to the evil caused by the orcs.  You and I and these others can be that catalyst for good.  A wise man once said `You live for the fight when it’s all that you’ve got.’  There’s more to this fight Lynn.  The good and evil in the world has to balance what we do in this life sways that balance.”  “But Angela what can you do?  We have magicians and warriors.  Can you fight?”  “You’ll find I’m full of surprises.”        

The meeting took place and Lynn got Angela into the room where all were assembled.  Nanette and Teela took one look at the bearer of the Witchblade being seated with everyone else and simply looked at one another knowingly and smiled.  After all the introductions were made a silence fell over the room as Nanette began explaining a few things.  “The orcs you have all seen and faced are not very organized and come from a race that lives underground.  The quest I have assembled you for will take you below ground to shamans and orc warriors.  Do not underestimate what we are to be dealing with.  All of you have your own specific skills and ways of fighting.  As we journey I want you to spar with one another and learn how best to fight alongside with each other.  I know we are currently only 11 people but I sense that one more will join us.”  Jonathan a voice from what seemed to be Nanette’s own personal peanut gallery spoke up.  “Why do we need another aren’t we good enough?”  “While I do not doubt your skills or anyone else’s Sir Knight when the fighting begins it will be dirty and it would be best if we had a dirty dozen.”  Replied Nanette.  “Besides Payton our resident barbarian might go berserk and have all the fun by himself.”  Piped in Britt.  At this Payton let out a roar and smacked his hands in a mock imitation of giving Britt a fresh one. 

A rough plan was laid out and formed to get them to the orcs home lair, and the council of war convened.  As the warriors left to rest and get provisions Nanette pulled Teela aside “A moment of your time my friend I know your magic has been a little wacky on your travels here.  Take this Amulet of Magic Winds.  It will fix your magic while you are away from Castle Greyskull.”  “Thank you Nanette I feel as if a blinder has been removed from me just holding this.”  “I need all of you at your best for the things to come.” 

The next morning the group stocked up on foodstuff for the journey thanks to Angela speaking to the proprietor of the Pig Pen tavern.  Arrows and ropes were obtained at the merchant stalls and they were on their way to the orcs lair to “Put a stop to the problem cold, hard and mean.” 

Two days into the quest the eleven warriors came to the crest of a hillside and looked down in the valley to see a battle in progress.  Teela and Nanette had been riding side by side and were actively debating the ramifications of getting involved.  Now on the hillside the gathered warriors waited for a decision from those that seemed to have taken the roles of leadership.  Angela waited till all had gathered near before voicing a thought.  “Those soldiers down there are taking a beating from the orcs.  We could make all the difference and swing the battle back in their favor.  We may be the only reinforcements they get.”  Payton voiced “Why are we talking when there's orcs to smash?”  All were in agreement to postpone the journey and help.  Teela said “Angela, Britt, Sonja, Nanette we’re the artillery come with me.”  The others dismounted and drew arms.  Those on horseback took off at a gallop around the back side of the fighting in an effort to box the orcs in. 

What had happened before the party arrived was this.  Sargent Jerome and his troops of men and women, some of the finest troops if he did say so himself, had been on horseback riding for a fortnight to help a village east of the Pig Pen.  They had been harried across the landscape by a band of orcs who were smarter than any band of greenskins he had dealt with before.  Their hit and run tactics had relieved him and his troops of their horses Because of nightly raids he and his troops had slowly been killed off.  Of the forty people under his command only 15 remained.  This morning they were on the losing side of a last ditch war of attrition with the orcs. 

Suddenly Sargent Jerome found himself cut off from his troops by two orcs swinging battleaxes.  He was swinging and dodging but each time his sword connected with an axe it shook him to the core of his being.  One of the orcs raised his axe preparing to swing.  Jerome saw it twitch when its neck was pierced with two electrified arrows from Britt.  Payton, Lynn, and Jonathan had formed a trio and waded into the battle near Jerome.  Jerome slipped on the bloody carcass littered ground and was about to fall victim to the other orcs axe.  Payton blocked the axe descending before Jerome could react and Lynn smacked the orc in the head with her mace crushing his skull and shield bashing an orc coming up behind her.  Jonathan reached out and helped Jerome to his feet.  Jonathan raised Sulphur’s Kiss and stood guarding Jerome’s back.  “What’s your title sir?”  "Sargent Jerome sir.”  “Help has arrived Sargent rally your troops we’ll protect you.  You have long range support and our friends are aiding your soldiers in close combat.  We’re going to help you win this.”  At the last sentence Jonathan swatted an incoming orc in the midsection doubling it over so Payton could quickly remove its head.  Lynn met a charging orc shield to shield and swung her mace underhanded into its face with a squishy thud.  Seung Mina, Brunhilde and Erica had joined forces.  They spotted a young lady in armor having trouble with a ten foot tall orc.  The young lady for the most part had been holding her own till the orc smashed her head into its knee.  She stood up but her graceful swordsmanship was beginning to look a little sloppier.  Thunk! Thunk!  Erica launched two crescent darts that embedded in the giant beast’s neck.  Behind the giant orc Red Sonja rode by and unleashed 4 arrows in rapid succession but the beast still stood.  The giant orc prepared to bring a giant cleaver on the young lady.  Seung Mina and Brunhilde blocked with Naginata and Dragonfang while Erica slammed the blades of her hand axes into its gut.  The swordswoman suddenly in a dazzling leap stabbed the giant in the left eye, back flipped down and scored ten more hits with her fencing sword before landing.  The giant crashed to the earth with a reverberating thud.  It tried to rise and a bright red blast of plasma energy stopped its heart.  Erica, Brunhilde, Seung Mina and the swordswoman looked up stunned by the blast. 

Angela was no longer clad in her riding gear but in a strange armor of yellow, gray and red.  It wasn’t a full suit of armor but only seemed to cover vital body parts.  Her arm was encased in a weird form of cannon.  Angela moved her arm and blasted two more orcs dead.  Nanette was on her horse chanting and hail stones began to rain from the sky.  Sonja and Britt continued to unleash arrows as quickly as they could draw and fire them.  Teela raised her bo staff and venomous snakes flew from it latching on to any orc still standing.  The battle ended in short order. 

The young swordswoman that had been helped with the giant approached Seung Mina and asked if she may join the group of warriors.  Her request was granted as Nanette confirmed she was the help the group had been missing.  After the battle ended Seung Mina walked up to Payton patted him on the shoulder and said.  “Nice bit of fighting with that poleaxe.  Not everyone can wield such a weapon with as much finesse as I’ve seen you display.  Heh! All I can say is Yatta!” 

The party of warriors journeyed on and at the next town procured more arrows and a horse for Charlotte.  They stopped at a nearby tavern for lunch before continuing on.  The large party filled a table.  Midway through their meal Charlotte rose and went to the rare indoor restroom.  The place was a fine example of gnomish engineering. 

The warriors disarmed themselves according to tavern policy and sat eating and Lynn began to wonder after some time what had become of their new companion.  She rose excused herself and went to the privy.  Before Lynn reached the door she heard a commotion.  As she opened the door she saw Charlotte being backed against the wall by two well over 400 pound women.  They were screaming at Charlotte.  “Why don’t you know your place in this world?  What are you doing going around the countryside playing soldier? Leave that to the men folk. Know your role!”  “Ladies I don’t want any trouble from you.  Let me go back to my meal in peace.  I will be out of your town in no time.  I have every right as a person to be a soldier, housewife or whatever I choose to be.” 

The closest gargantuan woman took a swing at her and Charlotte ducked the clumsy blow.  The second woman yanked the stall door apart with her bare hands and was about to charge with it when Lynn tripped her and slammed a left palm across the woman’s eye.  As the woman was falling she lashed out with a roundhouse kick to the woman’s jaw knocking her out.  The stall door crashed with the large woman.  Charlotte was dodging swinging blows then she finally delivered a head butt to her opponent.  The woman staggered and Charlotte used the window frame to pull herself up and kicked the woman with both feet and then landed.  Lynn’s opponent began to rise and she grabbed a nearby bucket of water and spun the bucket into the woman’s forehead spraying water in the process. 

As Lynn and Charlotte were leaving the latter asked.  “Why did you stick up for me?”  “I’m a blacksmith by trade it’s not a job women or society respects.  With you being a soldier I can relate.  A person does what they can to provide for themselves and the ones they love.  Plus like all of us in this war party we have a great appreciation for those who fight for us and defend us.  Angela taught me a lesson about seeing people differently.”  “Lynn, you might not be everyone’s hero but you have earned my respect.”    

To this point the journey had lasted over a week and they had been part of small skirmishes along the way.  The band of warriors had come to a plateau and used its high ground as a place of safety for their camp the previous night.  Teela was restless and thought she was the only one who couldn’t sleep.  It was completely dark around her and stars were the only light visible.  For the past two nights the moon had spent most of its time hidden from them by the trees and clouds.  One hundred feet away she noticed a faint blue light.  It slowly got brighter and began to move.  The light changed from a blue to a bright orange.  She quietly strapped on her sword and grabbed her bo staff in the event it was some sort of attack.  Nanette touched her arm and whispered “Unless you plan to join in you will not need your weapons. Just stay and watch for a moment.”  Teela sat back down and she was slowly able to make out the armored form of the knight Jonathan.  Bit by bit rays of sunlight began to show.  His flaming war hammer Sulphur’s Kiss was moving.  He went through practiced routines of blocking and striking against an imaginary opponent.  Rays of sunlight slowly filled the horizon behind him blending with the fire from Sulphur’s Kiss.  Payton rose wordlessly with his great poleaxe and joined his brother-in-arms both were swing their weapons yet giving one another a safe distance.  Seung Mina and Britt were next to rise.  As Seung Mina began to move her naginata Britt began firing arrows at her.  Not an arrow landed as Seung Mina used her double bladed spear in defense.  Lynn rose with her shield and mace along with Erica and her hand axes and they engaged in combat.  Angela willed the Witchblade to form a sword and engaged Charlotte.  Sonja drew her sword and blocked Payton’s last thrust making him aware of an opponent.  Brunhilde charged Jonathan.  The team practiced for an hour as the sun continued to rise.

As the group rode on Lynn was riding near Seung Mina who she noticed was whistling and at times mouthing words.  “Seung Mina, you seem to have a tune going on there will you explain it please.”  “Lynn, I’m singing a song I love.”  Teela spoke up.  “It’s a rousing and appropriate song perhaps you could teach the rest of those around you.”  For miles as the group rode you could hear these words being sung.  “And all these things I didn’t say like wrecking balls inside my brain I will scream them loud tonight.  Can you hear my voice this time?  This is my fight song.  Take back my life song.  Prove I’m alright song.  My powers turned on.  Starting right now I’ll be strong I’ll play my fight song and I don’t really care if nobody else believes Cause I’ve still got a lot of fight left in me.”

Five days passed as the party journeyed on and they drew near a town.  As they stopped for a meal from outside the tavern they heard thunderous amounts of hoof beats coming from a single rider.  The door to the tavern swung open.  Caked in dirt and dust stood a young soldier woman named Christine Motero, she was the sixteenth descendant of a modern day Delilah.  Her horse named Sonic Boom had gotten her to her destination at top speed.  She scanned the room and finally spotted Charlotte.  “Miss Charlotte,” She said breathlessly.  “I have a message for you and your party of warriors.  I’ve travelled for two days trying to track you all down.  You’re leaving quite the trail of dead orcs in your wake.  The message I have for you is this.  Sargent Jerome is amassing a small army to come help you fight the orcs.”  “Most excellent Christine, how far out are they.”  “Two days ride Miss.  He said don’t stop believing.”  “We leave promptly after our meal Tell him for this favor if we live we will dine together in Detroit Rock City.”  Christine took a meal and left to return back to her Sargent.

Four days passed and they neared a forest.  Britt rode to the front of the pack and asked them all to follow her lead.  After the fourth row of trees they passed an arrow struck a tree near Britt’s right ear.  She held up her hand and silence fell.  Britt faced the direction of the arrow being fired and spoke in the High Elvish language.  “Gunter glieben glauchen gluber.”  A voice returned with these cryptic words.  “Are you getting it?  Really getting it.”  Britt answered the question.  “Yes Armageddon it.”  Two elves dropped from the trees and the warriors tensed.  One of the elves had dark brunette hair in ringlets and she was very short.  Across her torso was affixed an oak bow.  “Greetings in the name of our Creator and the King of my Heart, I am Melissa Ann.”  As she spoke all noticed her hands moved in some sort of sign language.  “How may the wood elves be of service to you?”  Britt spoke up.  “We are on a quest to attack the orcs in their lair and put a stop to their reign of terror.”  Carmon the second elf a blonde swordswoman, with close cropped hair and a portion of her bangs over her right eye addressed them.  “Britt of the Pokemon wood elf tribe you are welcome here.  Your friends are our friends and you know what all elves say Friends will be friends when you’re through with life and all hope is lost.  Hold out your hand cause friends will be friends right to the end.”  Before exiting the forest they were told by Melissa Ann and Carmon that a battalion of elves would be an hour behind them.  They were given food and any other supplies they could wish for.      

A week passed and the party had made their way to a tree line overlooking a huge mound rising from the ground.  Four orcs were standing guard in front.  Nanette held up her hand to halt the riders.  “See how the trees on either side have been left alone.  This is to our advantage.  It will take time but we need to split up and get in from the sides and let the soldiers and elves take the front.  We need to work our way underground.  Teela you seem to have teams formed.  Lay down the plan.”  “Jonathan, come here I need to make a change to Sulphur’s Kiss before I go over the plan.”  Jonathan held out the Warhammer without igniting it by his own willpower.  “I hereby mirror ball and adrenalize the power of euphoria and pyromania to this weapon.  Jonathan, you can now touch the end of other weapons and pass on the flame of yours.  Now that being done the teams are going to be as follows.  Erica, Valkyrie, Nanette, Lynn, Angela and Charlotte will take the right side.  Payton, Jonathan, Britt, Red Sonja, Seung Mina, and I will take the left.  If you feel the air around you change temperature or hear orcs chanting find the orc shaman quickly or he will raise the dead you have just slain.  Leave no orc standing.  This is where we make our stand and avenge our loved ones.  Mankind—that word should have new meaning for all of us today.  We can’t be consumed by our petty differences anymore.  We will be united in our common interests.  Should we win the day this will be the day when the world declared in one voice.  `We will not go quietly into the night!  We will not vanish without a fight!  We are going to live on!  We’re going to survive!  Today we celebrate our Independence Day!’  This my friends is the Final Countdown.  Scatter and attack!” 

Jonathan took a lead position through the woods with the rest scattered behind him in almost wingman formation.  He waited till he saw Nanette lead the counter team on the opposite side of the mound.  Teela used a spell to distract the two orcs on guard facing their way.  Red Sonja and Seung Mina impaled the orcs before they could turn around.  Britt was covering their approach with her bow at the ready.  Jonathan approached the mound and began a rousing chant touching each warrior’s weapon except for Britt’s bow.  “Rise up gather round rock this place to the ground burn it up let’s go for broke watch the night go up in smoke.”  The warriors with him responded “Rock on!  Rock on!”  “Drive me crazier, no serenade, no fire brigade just pyromania.”  With weapons ablaze they advanced.      

On the opposite side of the mound Nanette had started a chant of her own enlisting the aid of her team in a powerful spell.  As one they began to say.  “One, somethings got to give.   Two, somethings got to give.  Three, somethings got to give.  Now!  Let the bodies hit the floor.  Let the bodies hit the floor, Let the bodies hit the floor!”  The orcs around the mound fell to the ground.  Erica launched crescent darts into them the second before they fell.  Angela once more levelled the plasma cannon formed by the Witchblade blowing the roof of the mound to dust.  The orcs were on the ground from the spell and the blast.  “Humans kill them!”  They screamed.  Charlotte tilted her head sideways and said, “Keep them busy I hear our reinforcements.”  All 12 warriors poured in to the mound slaying any orc that moved.  The further they travelled underground the more intense the fighting became.  Teela magically sent a flare to mark the battlefield.  Elves led by Carmon and Melissa Ann and Humans led by Sargent Jerome soon filled the area and joined the twelve.  Sargent Jerome had brought scouts and his friend Brandon, The Bearded Wonder, had brought his entire ballista team.  Any orc that managed to get above ground was greeted by an army.  By nightfall all orcs had been killed and were being cremated. 

“See Lynn, the balance between good and evil has been restored.”  Said Angela.  “Yes Angela, yes it has.  Come on let’s go to Detroit Rock City or Paradise City or whichever we reach first.”   

Directors cut

This story developed a life all its own.  There are so many musical references in this.  What I want to do with the Directors cut is I want to introduce you to my friend.  In no particular order.  Melissa or Melissa Ann as I referred to her in the story is one of the singers at Real Life Corpus.  She and my ever gorgeous wife, Marion are sisters in sign language.  Melissa has a song called King of my Heart by Love and the Outcome that she sings and I think Melissa sounds better than the original artist.  Part of Melissa’s greeting is the story is a paraphrase of that song.  Brandon is also a singer at church he is our rock style singer and an awesome man.  One day on facebook I asked for a word beginning with the letter b and he gave me the word Ballista.  As I neared the end of the story I asked permission to give him a Ballista Brigade in the story.  His only request was that I include his beard.  Carmon and I met at Hooters years ago.  She was one of the last waitresses I met before the entire staff seemed to change.  When I met her the first thought I had was this girl seems to look like an elf from anime cartoons.  Later I found out she plays Warcraft so this story is perfect for her.  Angela the bearer of the Witchblade in the story who quotes Skywalker and Bon Jovi has been my friend since I moved to Corpus Christi.  First friend I made.  Hooters girl, and bartender.  When we met we connected so well I made her a promise as long as she let me know her schedule and I had money I would come visit her.  First place we went outside of her job was to Real Life Corpus before it moved to Flour Bluff drive.  Her former roommate was the one to suggest I go visit Real Life.  Really people Naomi a Hooters Girl is the reason I ended up at the church I attend.  Most people don’t know this and attack me for eating there.  In the words of the Hairbrush song from Veggie Tales “Yeah good has been done here.”  Payton being a barbarian was a natural story progression.  We have worked together for a little over 3 years and I nicknamed him as a barbarian a long time ago.  The man is tall with a beard of red.  He’s lost a bit up top but looking at him just mentally seeing him holding a large poleaxe is not really hard to imagine.  Britt and I have also worked together for some time.  She’s a calendar girl she made them for each month with all sorts of awesome holidays on it.  She’s planned almost all of our group’s breakfasts.  Nanette of Nancy is someone I have known for too little time honestly that applies to Jonathan and Lynn or Karolynn.  Jonathan and I share a love for pro-wrestling past present and future.  We also have a love for God’s word.  Nancy and Karolynn I don’t know as well as I would like but I’m getting to know them better over time and I love that I can call them friends.  Erica and I clashed when we first met.  To paraphrase Darth Vader the personality is strong with this one.  We now get along well.  When she talks she often starts a sentence with “You know………………Sometimes.”  It’s funny. If you ever meet Eric tell her I said “Christmas!”

Honestly I had so much fun on this story I just want all to enjoy it.  I want my friends to feel honored by it.